To Overcome Un-forgiveness

Each of us has faced overwhelming challenges to forgive. Eventually though, truth begins to eclipse any excuse: we won’t be OK until we forgive. God’s unrelenting insistence on our forgiveness is for our own sakes, not the sake of the one who hurt us — our un-forgiveness doesn’t hurt them! God is faithful. He will plead our case and take up our cause… but only when we make a deliberate decision to cease representing ourselves in the matter.

Keep in mind that forgiveness is not defined by a feeling, although it will ultimately change our feelings. Forgiveness is our determined and deliberate willingness to let something go — to release it from our possession and send it to God. God is not asking us to let “it” go haphazardly into the black hole of nonexistence. Forgiveness is the ongoing act by which we agree with God over the matter, practice the mercy He extends to us, and surrender the situation, repercussions, and the hurtful person into His hands.

Pray for willingness-to-forgive to come to you, but also pray for that person you are having trouble forgiving. There are three parts to ‘forgiveness’ praying: (1) prayers for a forgiving attitude in yourself, (2) prayers specifically about the person you are struggling to forgive, and (3) prayers for the person you are struggling to forgive.

Your ways are not my ways, Lord God. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are Your ways higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). I may not always understand Your ways, my Lord, but they are always prosperous (Psalm 10:5). Your ways are always righteous (Psalm 145:17). Your ways, O God, are holy (Psalm 77:13). Your ways are loving and faithful(Psalm 25:10). I have considered my ways, Lord (Psalm 119:59), and I choose Yours instead. Please keep me from deceitful ways (Psalm 119:29). Lord God, loving Father, help me to walk in Your ways (Psalm 119:3).

Father, I forgive everyone who has trespassed against me so that You can forgive me my trespasses (Matthew 6:12). Father, Your Word tells me to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me (Matthew 5:44, Luke 6:27-28). So I come before you in Jesus’ name to lift up _____ before You. I invoke blessings upon him/her and pray for his/her happiness. I implore You, please, to bless him/her. And not only will I pray for _____, but I set myself up to treat him/her well; I will be merciful, sympathetic, tender, responsive, and compassionate toward him/her even as You are, my loving Father. For I am Your child and want to be an imitator of You, my Lord God (Ephesians 5:1), and I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).

So Father, I thank You that I have great peace in this situation, for I love Your law and refuse to take offense toward _____ (Psalm 119:165). I am blessed — that is, happy with life; I have joy and satisfaction in God’s favor, and in salvation apart from outward conditions — because I take no offense and refuse to be hurt or resentful or annoyed or repelled or made to stumble [whatever may occur] (Luke 7:23 Amplified).

And now, Father, I roll this work entirely upon You — I commit and trust it wholly into Your hands; and believe that You will cause my thoughts to come into agreement with Your will, and so my plans shall be established and succeed (Proverbs 16:3). Amen.